Okafor's Law

My Country people I dey hail oo!!! ehhh, you fit say, "where dis one comot from? morning don come for your area abi? sun don dey shin for you? na today you remember say you get blog?" But me I go tell you say : "if you ask me, na who I go ask? you've gats to understand..One of these days, we will get into that.. you know; expantiate!

This post is dedicated to all the women out there, who keep falling for Okafor's law.

Enough about me, the issue at hand is greater than my absence.. Today, we will explore "Okafor's law".

Okafor's Law in action:

Meet Uche* my childhood friend. Anybody that knows Uche will tell you that, he is a casanova. In fact, Uche himself will tell you that "there is something about the chase that makes me crazy...something about the chase". And all his life, he has always been like this. So my guy Uche met this fine girl, in our final year in secondary school. They dated for a little while. It was said that Uche deflowered this girl. While they were dating, Uche also had side chicks. To give you a picture, the lines were very blurry when it came to whom the main girl was and whom the side chicks were. (Side chick, is a Nigerian slang that means, a girl I will 'nak' but will not marry...google nak...still confused?? a f*** body) Fast forward 2010, we relocated to Yankee (University things) for some reason, Uche started looking for this girl, found her and before you knew it, he applied Okafor's law.

What is Okafor's law?

You say wetin?! you no know wetin be Okafor's law??!! Guy, no fall my hand.. 

For all those that are not in the "know", Okafor's law states that, if a man was involved with a girl for a period of time and did a good job in and out of the bedroom (mostly in..), there is a belief that the man can always go to the girl at any given time and sleep with her, irrespective of any situation that arises ie breakups, different lover, marriage etc..

For those that are in the 'know', we can all agree that, spiritual 'konji' or 'akpako' or what the english calls 'Passionate sex', is the key to Okafor's law.

The Mighty and many have fallen prey to Okafor's law because of 'konji'. Take a look at Spartacus, Caligula, King Solomon, Samson, One south-south governor like that, One former head of state in Nigeria (your imagination)..These men and most times women are not fools. Because they are so in love with love, they fail to see how they have been manipulated, used and dumped and used and dumped..

My question is this... which way forward? How can you allow yourself, a beautiful human being to be used and dumped AND used and dumped? are you okrika? second hand clothing? Don't you know your value? so he begged for mercy... and. so. what??? He told you it was the hand work of the devil, sister, let me ask you, please o, was it the devil you saw doing the deed with your bestfriend? was it the devil that asked you to abort your baby, because he was not ready to be a father? or was it the devil that beat you black and blue for talking to your male colleague? you two were not even married! please park well!

 Even second hand clothing knows when to say ENOUGH!. My dear, pack your things and leave. You may think it's too late, the money is good, the sex is good, but I tell you, your present condition will never change unless you make a move. It's never too late to turn around if you've been on the wrong direction. If you've already left, remain where you are, if he comes back, pursue him. Don't allow loneliness to drive you into the wrong arms.

I have a younger sister, and if I can help it, I will not allow anybody to use this law on her.

Please share with us, your thoughts on Okafor's law.


Disclaimer: Names have been changed. Any similarities with anybody living or dead, is purely your imagination!

Flogging : Is it necessary?

The Nigerian mi owan,
I dey hail o!. I just read a story about a teacher that flogged his student until she passed out. According to her fellow students, it was 'only' four strokes of cane, so she was probably pretending. I also read some of the comments on that page and it seemed like the commenters had a divided opinion about flogging. For me in my opinion, flogging koda kobaje, it's not bad nor good. What do you have to say about it?
Muyiwa*!

The Nigerian says:  
Greetings to you too! I will answer your question, with a story.

I remember Jss3 green, our french teacher had this rule; for each question you failed, you will receive a cane. So if a student failed ten questions out of ten questions, they will receive ten strokes of cane. Seemed like a good logic to get her students to perform better in her class.  oh and she always announced our scores.

I remember she would arrange the scripts, according to our names in alphabetical order. We always failed at least one question in her tests so we were always expecting her to flog us. On this fateful day, she did not arrange the scripts, she just made us form a line. "Tiwa! nine over ten, give me your hand, taw!!!" "Yvonne!, five over ten, give me your hand, taw! taw! taw! taw! taw!".  and it went on until she got to the girl right in front of me. " Tonto!, four over ten, oya! give me your hand" "Aunty, which one, the left or the right?" "I don't care, just give me your hand!" "I said give me your hand!, taw! Taw! TAW!!" "MY EYE! MY EYE OO!!! SHE FLOGGED MY LEFT EYE!!"

Eh!?!! The whole class gathered around her. Aunty was confused, I remember she kept saying, "show me the eye, let me see the eye, I want to blow air into the eye..." before you knew it, the eye got really swollen. Somehow, Tonto left school early, and came back with her father. Her father was a very powerful lawyer.

It was very bad. The man arrived with some policemen. At first, our principal was forming "oh you cannot come into my school compound...blah blah blah" Until the man said, madam, if you don't step out of my way, I will arrest you too!. Princi, jejely comot from the gate o.

Long story short, the teacher was taken to the police station, she signed a paper saying that she will provide for the girl and pay all her medical bills, come and see Tonto demanding for boiled eggs every evening.  Needless to say, French teacher did not flog anybody again, at least until we left that school.

I know some people will argue that the girl was spoilt or she felt entitled, why did she call her father...yada yada yada..., or her dad did not have the right to call the policemen, but I will say what I always say, ' until you've been in a similar situation and handled it differently, You cannot point fingers at anybody". You ask "is it necessary?" I don't have a straight answer for this question.  I can't say it's good or bad, but "is IT necessary?" in some cases, yes, in others, no. But to flog a student until she faints? Ha! na wa o. 

Names have been changed.

Who is the real thief ?

The Nigerian says:

Hello ladies and gentlemen, how have you been? it's been awhile, today I have decided to write another story ( for all the mgbekes and okons wey like to dey argue, this one na for una) ehe!


With all the strange occurrences happening around me, I have come to the conclusion that our world is filled with thieves and thefts. I'm not just talking about stolen money; I am talking about stolen innocence, emotional theft. I am talking about a grandmother falling in love with her biological grandson and having a baby, via surrogate for him (it's okay to retch in disgust, I know I did), and yes it's happening right now, live in the United States, here's the link to the news my friend sent to me :
http://m24digital.com/en/2010/04/29/72-year-old-woman-and-her-grandson-in-love-and-having-a-baby/   

How do people do such things? how? and don't get me started on people raping their neighbors kids.

I'm talking about psychological theft; a young slightly deformed boy had his first heartbreak and his possessive mother, while consoling and holding him to her bosom, said to him " you know girls will never love you, nobody will ever love you like mummy does, because you are different, always remember that". This young man will forever believe those words and may never have the confidence to approach a girl ever again in his life.

Why ma'am? why? I understand that you are afraid to lose your son to the world, but seriously?

I am talking about broken promises; a married woman went to her newly widowed friend's house. On seeing how difficult her friend's  circumstance was, she decided to help her friend by taking her friend's daughter back with her to the city. The agreement was, the young girl would do the chores while she in turn would pay her tuition fees. On getting to the city, madam refused to send this girl to school, she refused to buy her the necessary things needed for a girl's upkeep. The girl ended up sleeping with oga and in return, he took care of her expenses.

All these people, are thieves.

I now ask, who is the real thief ?




Disclaimer: The link shown in the above blog post does not belong to me, no copyright infringement was intended. I will not be held accountable for the expressions / comments made on that webpage.

ST. Augustine Primary School Onitsha 2

           "What did you just say?" Amechi asked as he walked towards Chidi's desk. "did you just challenge me to a fight?" "yes Amechi. what self? what is your problem? you think because you are bigger than all of us, you can just beat us up when you feel like it? I will show you that, na small shit dey spoil nyash!" "Ta!!!! shut up there!" eh? the whole class turned towards the sound. It was Ebuka, the most quiet boy in the class. We were now paying close attention to the whole drama. Ebuka was this mousy looking kid; very small for his age, did not really talk much in the class because he stammered and over time, we forgot about his existence. So you can imagine our shock when he continued talking "how d d d dare you? i i i is it because your your mother is the te teacher? eh? wo wo wo what about our money eh? ah ah are you not the person enjoying it?" There was an uproar. The class room went crazy, it was as if they all remembered their money after Ebuka mentioned it.
          "Miss is coming" some one announced. We all ran back to our seats. I looked at Chidi and felt sorry for him, he was trying so hard to appease the other kids, but it was not working. He turned towards me, but I looked away thinking "no, don't look at me, you always ignored me now that you're in trouble you suddenly know me".
           I remember when the final bell went off. Miss as usual left before everyone else, I don't know if she noticed that nobody was getting ready to leave the class. "Chidi oya! outside in the play ground".  I looked at him again, I could smell the fear in him; he was trembling, he turned and looked at me again but I looked away, he grabbed his school bag and walked outside slowly. The whole class followed him, if you had seen the crazy looks in their eyes, you would have feared for Chidi.
           I was the last person to leave the class; I can't remember exactly what I was doing, but I remember that by the time I got outside, there was a very big commotion. Apparently, when they got outside, Chidi removed his sandals and ran for his life and the whole class ran after him, so I ran after them.
           I followed them outside the church gates and as I got closer, I noticed that they've formed a small crowd and somebody was screaming in their midst. I managed to squeeze myself into the crowd and to my surprise, our Miss was sitting on the floor crying! "biko nu, gbaghara m biko nu..Please you (plural) should forgive me, please". I had never seen such a thing in my young life, all the big men in my class were shouting at her, their voices drowning out her pleas. Why no passersby stopped to see what was happening  will always be beyond me, people just kept walking past us. I did not really touch her, I lacked the courage, but when they carried her up and turned her head first into a big 'buta' water drum, I pinched her ankle. Everybody seemed to have forgotten about Chidi, at that instant, we all felt like demi-gods. I did not even question how Miss got there, I went home as if nothing happened.
           The next day, I was late to school, the whole primary 3b were kneeling down in front of our headmistress's office. Apparently the news of our escapade had gotten to our headmistress. I was among the lucky few that were not punished, Chidi had told our headmistress that I was not involved in it. Why he did that for me I will never know because  my mother heard the story and although my name was not mentioned, she immediately transferred me to a different school.
         I did not stay in ST. Augustine for a long time, but I had one of my memorable experiences in that school.


The Nigerian says:
 Is there something you experienced in primary school? you can share your story with us in the comment box below.

ST. Augustine Primary School Onitsha 1

The Nigerian says : good morning! country people. how una dey? today's post is a bit different from our usual posts. I'm not answering any questions today, I may ask one at the end of this post.


       "Chidi you must pay N5 today! you think because you are Miss's son you can make noise and not pay? it's a lie o , you must pay that money today". we all turned around to see Amaechi the class monitor charging towards Chidi. Primary 3b had a rule : if you talk while in class, you pay N5. Our "Miss" invented that punishment instead of the usual 'pick pin' 'kneel down until your knees bled' and 'frog jump', because according to her, "you children don't have home training at all. You lack respect. Unu enwero nsopuru, this N5 will keep your mouths shut".

        In the east, in those days, most of us had only N5 as lunch money and that money was a lot of money! I remember my friends in disbelief were saying "ha! N5 ? that's a lot of money. This Miss is an educated armed robber". We all knew deep down in our hearts that we could not tell our parents; their replies would have been "and so? if you make noise, you pay the price. why would you even talk in class? is that why we are sending you to school?".

       I remember St.Augustine Catholic Nursery and Primary school Onitsha. Our school uniform was pink in colour, pink check material for the boys shirt and pink short knickers. For the girls it was a dress, the upper part was pink check material while the rest of the dress was pink plain material.. You could tell the difference between the rich, the middle class and the poor through their uniforms; some boys had very large holes in the back of their short knicker, you could clearly see their buttocks, some never wore underwear and their "pink" was no longer pink, more like a dirty brown colour. Those were the poor ones. The middle class had patches over the holes in their shorts, sometimes they will come to school with their uniformed ironed depending on NEPA. The rich ones never had holes on their shorts, they played with the rest of the kids but had at least N25 to spend every day plus lunch. The good thing then was, nobody looked down on anybody. We did not see class, of course while some of us walked to school, some rode bicycles while some were dropped off.

      Back to my story : "Amaechi I will not pay any money! if it's fight let us fight". eh? the whole class went quiet. We were all in shock, as at this time, our Miss was attending the PTA meeting. Nobody has ever challenged Amaechi in the history of our class. Common sense did not allow it. There was a very clear reason why he was appointed as our class monitor. He was the only person that could collect N5 from students in anyway possible. He was taller than most of us and he was very fat. You should have seen our faces, we could not believe it. "What did you just say?" Amechi asked as he walked towards Chidi's desk.....
(Watch out for part two!)

OK Bye!

Amebo.com

My Country people! How una dey? so many interesting things have been happening in Nigeria, first my oga on top, then wetin be that yoruba actress name again, the one wey get that fight with Stella dimokokorkus?, now na Solomon Akiyesi, the Nigerian will comment on these happenings in due time.

Dear Nigerian,

Why you no dey write on popular news? abi you no hear about stella fight with one yoruba actress like that? or Oga on top gist? You no hear about Solomon Akiyesi Scandal? what do you have to say?

...

The Nigerian says:

Dear ... ( I hope say no be your real name? if you be calabar,na kpom kpom kpom. )

I heard the news. hmm, that one na serious gbese! well, I'm waiting for the whole thing to play out first before saying anything. But come o, wetin concern you concern Solomon matter?

Ps: Your Amebo sha no get level.

OK Bye!

Marriage in Absence!

The Nigerian Says:
when I saw the title of this email, I was very concerned that it will be another relationship question, the Nigerian was pleasantly surprised when this entity read the letter. I stress this again THIS IS NOT A DATING WEBSITE. ehe! okay read the letter below:

Good Morning Sir!

   Greetings from America! I am a nigerian by birth. I grew up in Nigeria and travelled to the States immediately after my secondary school education. I managed to maintain my relationships with my friends in Nigeria and we all still talk and skype. Unfortunately, I have not been able to travel home until last July.
    Last July, a friend that I've known since high school, invited us for her wedding in Nigeria. I took that as an opportunity for me to go home and have a reunion with my friends. I travelled home (The Nigerian deleted this part, the lady added the name of her location) I'm still confused about what I witnessed.
    We all arrived at the traditional wedding, expecting to see the groom. Rather, we saw the groom's family, but no groom. Apparently it was marriage in default.. There was no groom, not that he does not exist, I'm not very sure he does, but he was represented by his people.
    Maybe because of my long absence from Nigeria, I have come to see certain practices as strange. Please can the Nigerian, clarify what I witnessed?

Thanks
(again the Nigerian deleted her name)

The Nigerian says:

Dear confused girl,

Please against next time, do not write your full name. Secondly,the Nigerian should not be addressed as Sir or Ma, just The Nigerian, you don hear? ehe!.

I can understand your confusion, as to why the groom was missing. I have heard stories about families that don't have a son, marrying a girl into their homes and then inviting men to impregnate her. Apparently, any child born by that lady automatically belongs to the family. Is it strange? Maybe. Does it happen? Maybe!.

Let me tell you a story about a wedding the Nigerian attended. The bride should be in her mid 30's. I don't know whether it was desperation or just the fact that the groom lived abroad, but the man was not present during the wedding (Traditional marriage ceremony), instead, his picture was used. Let me paint this correctly for you: A large frame with the groom's picture, was placed under a canopy on a white plastic chair. When the bride was presented to the groom's family, his mother raised his pictures and they led the girl away, to her new home.

The Nigerian does not have anything against anybody's tradition, or the way anybody lives their life. But come o, why will a well to do, healthy, living, and abled bodied man, not attend his own wedding ceremony? Hopefully, your friend's story will end happily. That is all.

OK Bye!